


Pieces

by Tulikettu



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus likes big guys, Caduceus makes a move, Caleb is terrible with his feelings, Feelings, First Kiss, First time hand job, Hand Job, M/M, SO, Self Harm, alternative firbolg biology, but also Caleb, discussion of Caleb's scars, emotionally invested Caduceus, feelings everywhere, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29315334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tulikettu/pseuds/Tulikettu
Summary: Caduceus likes big guys. That's his type.At least that's what Caleb thinks.Caduceus, though, prefers an emotional connection-
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> These two are my happy place. This is my first fic for this pairing, but you better believe it isn't my last. I love writing them. They're like a comfort pairing.
> 
> If there are any other necessary tags someone would like me to add please let me know!
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s obvious to everyone that Caduceus likes big guys. His taste in women has yet to be confirmed or tested, but the dude loves big guys. Both in height and in build. It partly makes sense, because Caduceus is so tall himself he’d want someone to make him feel small and safe. But obviously he has a type. And it’s odd to think about considering how naive he seems regarding the whole...sex thing. As far as all of them are aware, Caduceus hasn’t had a relationship, hasn’t had sex, hasn’t so much as kissed anyone, and that’s fine. It’s not even a thing that crosses the mind until they’ll be sitting in a tavern or walking through a town and someone with big arms, a big chest, or strong legs walks past. Veth and Jester look, and Caduceus looks. He’s more subtle, but he definitely looks. 

Caleb doesn’t really think anything of it until he  _ really _ starts to think about it. Or until he really starts to think about Caduceus. In a different way. It’s not difficult, and frankly Caleb is surprised that no one else seems to be falling desperately in love with the firbolg. But he doesn’t need any more competition. He starts to become greedy for the moments they spend alone together, which are not common but seem to be increasing just slightly, when Caduceus’ attention is on him alone, when they’re sharing quiet moments and thoughts. 

And then he sees the way Caduceus starts to look at Fjord, the softness that comes over him when anything involving their half-orc friend is involved. 

  
Caleb doesn’t begrudge him, or either of them, their whole what-might-bes. He has his own warm spots for people, but of course Fjord will eventually realise he wants Caduceus, too. Caduceus is the soft light against Caleb’s raging fire. Caleb doesn’t want to draw him in closer. 

At the dinner with Trent, Caleb watches Eadwulf do exactly what Caleb expects. He looks smitten with Caduceus almost from the off. And he seems like Caduceus’ type. Caleb knows the strength in Eadwulf’s body. His own is frail, proved time and time again, with nothing in the way of physical prowess. 

Caduceus addresses Trent, speaks to him with such certainty in his voice, such conviction in his words that the little shell Caleb has fixed around his heart begins to crack. 

Caduceus likes big guys and he isn’t scared of powerful ones. 

Caleb is neither of those. 

But Caleb is used to being just short of enough and it doesn’t matter.

The words still echo around in his head in the soft way that Caduceus said them. 

_ It’s love that makes people...it’s love that saves them. _

Caleb loves. And the love he feels for the people around him now makes him want to be better. He isn’t going to be stronger physically. Or bigger. But he can be better. 

He can watch Caduceus watch Fjord and be okay with it. Fjord is a good man, after all. And Caleb is sure he is always destined to be a watcher. To let other people fall in love. He loves them all, anyway. And he loves his work. It’s enough. 

Fjord goes out running with Beau every morning, working on his physique. Caleb could try and do that, in the name of self betterment. He could try and get fitter, or just a little bit stronger, just to make him feel as though he can survive a single punch in a fight. He gets as far as standing in the training room of the Xhorhaus one time before he is overcome by his embarrassment and goes back to his room. 

He tries again when he has constructed a larger training area in the tower. Yasha is waving her greatsword around and hitting the dummies with precision. They magically repair when they have taken too much of a beating, and she takes them apart again. 

Beau punches another, bouncing lightly around it. Fjord is just beyond her, using a punch bag rather than a mannequin, focusing on fitness rather than form. 

The training room is open to the rest of the tower, so it isn’t as though Caleb being there is odd (he’s honestly a little surprised that there aren’t more spectators) and he watches the three of them for a while before he slides his robes from his shoulders and places them on the floor, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. The bandages cover his forearms as always, though there are hints of some of the longer scars creeping up towards his elbows. 

He steps up to one unoccupied dummy. He knows the others are looking at him, but none of them say anything. 

He’s gotten this far. 

But maybe he’s stood there a little too long just staring at the dummy, because Yasha’s hand is on his shoulder, a gentle pressure out of nowhere. 

“Would you like me to show you how to punch?” she asks.

Caleb takes in a breath and then lets it out slowly. “Yes. Please. I would like to know how to punch.”

He stands there patiently as Yasha moves him, letting her put him in the right position without any resistance. Acknowledges the simple instructions to follow through on his punch, to aim for the dummy and swing back, push forward on one leg. The first one hurts his fingers but he isn’t going to stop, letting Yasha reposition him, letting her gently guide his movement to show him where to hit. 

Fjord and Beau continue with their own workouts without comment. Caleb is thankful for his friends. 

It’s a slow lesson, but he knows well enough that one must first learn to stand before one walks or runs. Even still, he feels sweat beading on his hairline and prickling at his back, and it’s probably not the worst his friends have seen of him but of late he has looked far more respectable. And he has slowly made his way around the dummy, facing into the gym. Watching his other friends work out is good motivation, too. Even though his arms hurt and this is strenuous, Yasha is patient and kind, and Caleb thinks this might not be too bad in the long run.

“I think maybe I should be working on my strength, too-” 

  
Caleb stops and turns, his eyes wide as he looks at Caduceus who is leaning against the wall, watching. Specifically watching Caleb.

“Oh, please don’t mind me,” Caduceus waves a hand. “I was just passing by.”

“Checking out Mr. Fjord’s skills,” Caleb says before he can stop himself. 

Caduceus tips his head. “No. No, actually-” he stops and shrugs. “I was just passing. Do you want me to go and check that your bath is hot?” 

They both know it will be, Caleb really doesn’t know why Caduceus is asking. If he wanted to, Caleb could make a bath appear right here in the middle of the gym. And now he’s stalling too long. 

Caduceus smiles, though, and waves his hand. “I’ll see you all later.”

“Yes. See you later.” 

The firbolg disappears off into the tower to go about his business, and Caleb turns back to his dummy. 

Beau has stopped and is looking at him. Yasha’s eyes are on the floor. 

Fjord is focusing very hard on his punching bag. 

“Caleb-” Beau says slowly. “I think Caduceus was- trying to do something nice for you.” 

Caleb raises his eyebrows at her. He isn’t stupid. “Yes. I noticed.”

“I mean-” she looks at Yasha, who isn’t helping, and then at Fjord who looks awkward. “Specifically for you. He stopped by to watch you.”

Caleb is starting to think that he is stupid. “I’m sorry?”   
  


Beau comes closer, unwrapping the straps from around her knuckles. “Caleb. Caduceus came over and stood there watching you punching a bag. He didn’t look at me, he  _ certainly _ didn’t look at Fjord, man. And then he offered to get you a bath ready? Like, he’s in his own little world sometimes, but he knows we all have baths. So-” she lingers on the last words, waiting for him to put the pieces together. 

And Caleb has all of the pieces. He’s made the picture. He just can’t understand why it’s being given to him. 

He doesn’t know if he’s interpreting it right at all.

“I do not think I am his type,” Caleb says, hoping he at least has something right, otherwise he’s really putting his foot in it. 

“What do you think his type is?” Beau asks.

“Fjord,” Caleb replies again without thinking, watching Fjord startle. “I mean- guys like Fjord. Big guys.”

“Dude, everyone who likes guys likes big guys. That’s just a given,” Beau shrugs with no apology for her overgeneralization, and not acknowledging Fjord’s spluttering. “But you know Caduceus doesn’t...do that. He doesn’t...make moves. That was a move. A Caduceus move, but a move.”

Caleb stares at her. Then looks at Fjord who gives one of those affirmative nod-shrugs. And then Yasha. 

“I don’t know what his intentions are but I would absolutely let someone give me a bath if they offered,” she says. 

Beau has a little smirk on her face, and Caleb doesn’t need to ask. He just stands where he is not knowing where to go or what he’s supposed to do with this information. 

“I- I’m too sweaty- I can’t go now-”

“He’s gonna give you a bath, Caleb. He doesn’t care that you’re going to be sweaty. I mean, you might be getting sweatier-” Beau says, winking, though that is debatable. 

Caleb really doesn’t mind if nothing physical transpires between them. He has gone a long, long time wanting nothing more than just a connection with someone that is theirs alone. Something deep and intimate. And if Caduceus wants that too then Caleb will be a very happy man. 

He tugs at the bandages on his arms and wonders if he’ll be able to dry them out before the morning. He can probably get the cats to take them away and dry them whilst he sleeps. Yes. Yes. He’s going to go and find Caduceus. 

“Okay,” he says, more nervous than gusto. “Okay-”

“He should be easy to find. Just go and ask him if he wouldn’t mind running you a bath,” Beau says, turning Caleb gently so that he’s facing the main body of the tower. 

“Okay,” Caleb repeats. 

“We’ll leave you alone until the morning. Go, go go,” she says, nudging him away.

He’s already up on the level for Caduceus’ room when he realises he left his robes downstairs. He could go back and get them, stall a bit more. 

But no, if he goes back downstairs then all that’s going to happen is that Beau is going to drag him back up here and make more of a scene. 

He at least allows himself a few moments to take a breath and maybe try and work out what he’s going to say. Then he knocks. 

Caduceus opens the door and looks surprised. His ears perk up and his eyes widen, then a smile spreads slowly over his face. 

“Hello, Caleb.” 

“Hello, Caduceus,” Caleb nods. 

“Would you like to come in?” Caduceus asks, stepping to the side to allow room for Caleb to enter. 

“I would, yes,” Caleb nods again, crossing the threshold into the comfortable entrance room that he formed for Caduceus. His cheeks are already warm, his heart already hammering before he asks “I was- I wondered if you could run me a bath?”

The surprised look comes over Caduceus’ face again, but only briefly before his smile is even brighter than before. 

“Of course,” he says with such sincerity, as though it’s not an odd thing to ask at all. “Come through-” Caduceus opens the door that goes through to his little inside garden, and Caleb knows that, even though it isn’t necessary, Caduceus has been tending to these plants. These little fey plants that will be alive for as long as Caduceus wants them to be- he knows Caduceus takes care of them. 

He’s almost forgotten how wonderful Caduceus’ bedroom is. Everything is just a bit huge, firbolg sized, and Caleb wonders why he didn’t just give everyone excessively large furniture, because he feels very small but very safe. 

Caduceus has gone on to stand by his bath and is swooshing the water around as though to test the temperature, as though it isn't perfect already. Caleb appreciates that. He also gets to just look for a few moments, admire the way Caduceus is shrouded in his clothes, how his shirt is way too loose on him and the leggings he wears beneath show the shape of his legs, though Caleb can’t see all the way up with the hem of his shirt hanging around his thighs. Which is fine, Caleb shouldn’t be looking. Caduceus has rolled up the sleeve on one arm to mix the water, his hair is hanging forward, steam rising up around him. 

He’s very beautiful. 

Caleb’s knuckles and shoulders already hurt from his punching session not long ago and he knows he’s never going to be the big, muscled man that should sweep Caduceus off of his feet. He scratches at the bandages on his forearms, but stops as soon as Caduceus looks up. 

“I think it’s ready,” his cleric says, standing up and stepping away from the tub. “I’ll leave you to it- I’ll just be in the other room.”

“You can stay,” Caleb says, because what’s the point in coming to see Caduceus if he doesn’t have the other man here. “I’d like you to stay.” 

Caduceus falters for a moment, not really knowing what to do with himself apparently. But then he smiles again and plops himself on the end of his bed. 

It’s a really big bed. 

“Oh- I suppose you want some privacy to undress!” Caduceus stands again and turns around, as though they hadn’t all seen each other naked before. It’s probably different when it’s just the two of them. Or when only one of them is naked. 

“It’s fine, Caduceus. You have seen everything I have before,” Caleb says as he undoes the fastenings of his shirt and tugs it off over his head, folding it and placing it neatly on the floor. He toes off his shoes and socks and leaves them there too before he wriggles out of his pants, adding them to the neatly folded pile. When he’s finished he notices that Caduceus is back on his bed, watching Caleb with his head tipped to the side. 

It’s on the tip of his tongue to ask Caduceus to join him, but he thinks that’ll be crossing a line. So he smiles bashfully, taking the few long steps towards the tub. 

“Caleb?” he’s braced to get in when Caduceus’ voice stops him, and then gentle hands are on his arm, the layer of bandaging between his fingers and Caleb’s skin. He pauses. Their eyes meet. “These will get wet-”

“I will get the cats to dry them whilst I sleep,” Caleb nods, still not moving, poised where he is, maintaining great self control as Caduceus’ thumb brushes against his forearm. 

“Okay,” Caduceus says, stepping back again, relinquishing his gentle grip. He doesn’t push or ask Caleb to challenge his discomfort with his body. But it gives Caleb pause for thought. Caduceus had been the one to call Trent a failure, that he had no power over Caleb, that Caleb is loved. 

He picks at the little knot that holds the bandaging together, unwinding it from his forearm. He drops the fabric on the floor, then unwinds the other. He feels more naked than he did before - which technically he is, sure - but it’s momentarily overwhelming. Until Caduceus is there again, taking his hands which he hadn’t realised are trembling. His scars look worse now, now that he’s seeing them hypothetically through Caduceus’ eyes. There’s so many of them. So deep and thick and long from wrist to elbow. 

Caduceus strokes his fingers down one of Caleb’s lower arms, his head bowed enough that their foreheads touch. 

“Do you still think love can save me?” Caleb asks, watching the long, gentle fingers slide over his skin, mapping each line. 

“It already has, Caleb. Look at the path it has led you on. Look at the people you have around you. Look at all the good you do. You are not the man Trent envisioned or the man he wanted you to be.”

“Because you all love me?” Caleb sighs wistfully. 

“Because you love us, Caleb.” 

Caleb lifts his eyes to meet Caduceus’, his stomach fluttering at the smile he sees on the other man’s face. 

“I do,” Caleb replies.

“I know,” Caduceus nods. “Now, your bath is getting cold.”

They both know it’s not, but it makes Caleb laugh, lifting a hand to cup Caduceus’ cheek fondly. 

“Will you join me in there?” he asks before he can stop the words, before he has time to overthink them.

“If you give me a moment,” Caduceus replies softly, drawing back, though his touch lingers for as long as possible before he moves them to the hem of his shirt to pull it off. Caleb decides to avert his gaze for the moment, because Caduceus isn’t undressing for his pleasure and Caleb doesn’t trust his body to not betray him right now. He climbs into the bath, enjoying how big this is, too. He’s just going to make everyone’s baths bigger the next time they come into the tower. For the moment he focuses on cupping water in his hand and dribbling it over his upper arm, letting the water wind it’s way down. 

The water around him sloshes slightly as Caduceus gets into the tub behind him, their legs sliding against each other as the firbolg settles down. There’s quite a bit of space between them, and Caleb remains hunched over, not wanting to assume closer proximity will be welcomed. 

He smiles, though, when arms slide around his middle and he is pulled back against Caduceus’ chest. His skin is warm and furred and feels rather nice against his own. With a little sigh, Caleb leans his head against Caduceus’ shoulder, taking advantage of their closeness whilst he can. 

Caduceus’s fingers gently thread through Caleb’s, massaging one hand and then the other, brushing his thumbs over his knuckles. “You should have wrapped these up with something before you started punching.” There’s a shiver of magic and the bruises that were starting to grow there fade.

“It was rather a spur of the moment thing,” Caleb replies when he has caught his breath from the healing magic. He’s usually in too much pain to appreciate how nice it feels. “I didn’t think to…” he cuts himself off when Caduceus begins to knead up his right forearm, one of his own arms wrapped around Caleb for him to reach, like an embrace. “..um.”

“Relax,” Caduceus whispers, turning his head slightly to press the words into Caleb’s hair. “You’re very tense.”

“I cannot trust my body if I allow myself to relax,” Caleb admits with a self-deprecating laugh. 

“Relax,” Caduceus says again with more of a command in his tone. “Let your body express itself. There is no shame in that.”

As though he were just waiting for permission Caleb feels the increased pulse in his cock, feels it filling beneath the water as Caduceus’ fingers make it to the top of his right arm, working on the tighter muscles that have been put through a bit more than they are used to. He hears himself moan as they loosen, a puff of Caduceus’ breath against his ear making another shiver run through him. 

“I should just create multiple versions of you rather than relying on kitty biscuits every evening,” he jokes quietly, holding his left arm up for Caduceus’ attention. 

“Oh, and what would you do with more than one of me, I wonder?” Caduceus teases. “I imagine I’d be kind of annoying after a while.”

“Nein, not for the uses I’d find for you,” Caleb replies, his tongue as relaxed as he’s allowing the rest of himself to be. “I’m sorry. Sorry, that was inappropriate-” he apologises immediately, tensing up and ready to pull himself away from Caduceus’ grip. 

The firbolg laughs, though. “Why are you apologising? You all amuse me so much, apologising for saying what you mean. And for reactions you can’t help.”

“Well, it isn’t necessarily appropriate -not when a friend is doing something nice for you- to imply more...carnal things,” Caleb replies, though Caduceus doesn’t seem to be upset. 

Of course he isn’t. He’s massaging his way down Caleb’s left bicep, the other arm now wrapped around him. 

“I’ve never understood why- it’s fine, Caleb. These are all natural things for most people.”

Caleb huffs a laugh and shifts himself to press back against Caduceus, to get a little more contact, resting his head against the other man’s shoulder and turning to breathe against his neck. “I wouldn’t want you to imagine I’m saying these things to everyone who is kind to me,” he says playfully. “But I also know you aren’t particularly interested in..that.” 

The scars on Caleb’s left arm are slightly neater than the ones on his right, but if Caduceus notices he doesn’t give it away, just continues the rubbing, the relaxing pressure of his fingers that is loosening all of Caleb up. He has to press his own fingers into his thigh to keep from touching himself. His cock aches. 

“Hm, Caleb,” Caduceus rumbles as he reaches Caleb’s hand, at which point his touch softens to more of gentle caress over the soft skin on the inside of his wrist, that makes goosebumps rise over Caleb’s arm. “I don’t suppose you think I would do this with any of the others?”

  
“Fjord, maybe,” Caleb says softly, even as he turns his hand over to thread their fingers together. “I assume. He is your type.”

Caduceus hums softly. “My type? I didn’t think that was a thing I had.”

“You seem to like bigger guys. With muscles,” Caleb continues slowly, as though Caduceus will suddenly realise that Caleb isn’t that kind of guy at all. As though after being pressed against him naked for half an hour he hadn’t realised that Caleb isn’t what he likes. 

“Well, they are nice to look at,” Caduceus replies, his free hand now stroking slowly up and down the centre of Caleb’s chest. “You’re tense again, perhaps I need to try harder to get you to relax.”

Caleb grips Caduceus’ fingers tighter. “It’s difficult to relax when you’re touching me the way you are.”

“It’s the emotional connection I value, Caleb,” Caduceus whispers, his fingers sliding down to the top of Caleb’s belly, then up between his pecs again. “I’m attracted to who a person is, and how I feel with someone. And I feel good with you.” Caleb would love to protest that, he doesn’t think he has any positive impact on anyone, let alone someone like Caduceus, who’s entire purpose in life seems to be to leave positivity wherever he goes. But he doesn’t get a chance to verbalise that because Caduceus is touching and talking again, his fingers teasing through Caleb’s chest hair. “I wouldn’t have thought I was your type, since we’re on the subject.” Caleb shivers, turning his head to bare his throat and biting back a moan when the other man nuzzles there. “I would have thought your interests would lie with someone more intelligent. Someone far more skilled, more worldly.”

“Then perhaps we are both mistaken,” Caleb replies, letting out a soft, contented sigh as he gives in to the idea of just coming undone under all of this attention. 

“I’m going to wash your hair, now,” Caduceus says against Caleb’s throat. “I need you to lean forward.”

“But I’m comfortable,” Caleb pouts, though his tone is playful and he feels Caduceus grin against his neck. 

He does move, grumbling at the loss of contact even though Caduceus’ hands never leave him. It also gives him room to run them up and down Caleb’s back, resuming the kneading along his spine and shoulders, loosening the muscles again and drawing more soft sounds from Caleb. 

Caduceus undoes the tie that holds up Caleb’s hair, letting it fall against the wizard’s shoulders, his fingers raking through it, scratching over his scalp and pulling a moan from Caleb’s lips. 

“I’m making notes, don’t worry,” his cleric whispers against his ear, and yes, Caleb is melting. “I’ll remember what makes you sound like that.”

“You have been doing a wonderful job so far on the fly.”

He hears Caduceus chuckle behind him, and then the hands are gone, but only to cup water and drizzle it over Caleb’s head. Even that feels wonderful. Normally when Caleb washes his hair he just dunks himself beneath the surface and then untangles it with his fingers, so the carefully placed warm water is wonderful. And Caduceus’ fingers are very clever, gentle as they smooth his hair out, removing tangles effortlessly. 

Caleb closes his eyes and sinks into the sensation of being taken care of. He thought it would make his erection wane somewhat, now that the teasing touches have been replaced with something more practical, but apparently the intimacy is enough to keep him hard, to make his skin so sensitive to the water and the light brush of fingers. He hums when Caduceus shifts around behind him, but then two sets of fingers are pressing into his hair, and he can smell apples, can feel suds forming and sliding down his back.

“You are spoiling me,” he murmurs.

“No such thing,” Caduceus replies, lathering Caleb’s hair up. “You may have to dip yourself under the water to rinse yourself off, though. I think we’d be here forever if I did it with my hands.” 

“Mm, there is a jug beside you,” Caleb grins, and Caduceus laughs as he turns his head and sees a jug next to the bath. 

“Oh, how fortunate.”

“I would have got the cats to bring one but this is better,” Caleb replies, the words barely out of his mouth before he moans again at the warmth flowing over his back from the suds being washed out. Caduceus is slow and thorough, carding his fingers through his hair again to make sure every strand is tended to. 

Caleb has never felt so clean. Or so cared for. 

“It’s done,” Caduceus says at length, discarding the jug with a thump on the floor, his arms wrapping around Caleb and pulling him back against his chest. Caleb doesn’t need much encouragement and goes easily, resting his head against the other man’s shoulder once more. 

“No one has taken care of me so well since I was a child,” he says quietly, once more seeking Caduceus’ hand with his own, resuming their linked fingers. 

“Perhaps we can change that,” is the soft reply against his ear. “When we have time. It’s a pleasure for me to take care of you.”

This time Caleb manages to bite his lip and stop himself from commenting on pleasurable things that could happen between them. He’s certainly feeling it without much more input. 

He breathes in deeply and lets out a long sigh, letting himself relax again properly. Caduceus’ free hand moves to Caleb’s left thigh, running over the muscle there. He squeezes gently, moving down to the knee and then up again with that gripping, massaging movement. 

“Do you need both hands for this?” Caleb asks lazily, though Caduceus is doing a great job of loosening these muscles too. Even if it is just the motion, the gesture of it, the feeling of warm, damp skin against his own, against his thigh, working slowly higher. How could he not enjoy it?

“I think we should be fine,” Caduceus replies, his voice still close to Caleb’s ear. “We might have to swap hands for the other leg.”

“Mhm, you have very talented hands.”

Caduceus chuckles, his breath brushing over Caleb’s ear and cheek, the sound deep and low and happy as though he knows the implication. Well, Caleb is hard, his erection is evident, he’s certain anything he says right now sounds as though he’s trying to seduce Caduceus. 

For the moment, though, he closes his eyes and enjoys the warmth of the other man’s body, the full line of Caduceus’ front pressing against his back. Caleb wishes that he could tell if this proximity is affecting Caduceus in any way, but it isn’t possible. He just has to trust that Caduceus would tell him if anything is uncomfortable or reaching the end of his comfort level. Caduceus’ hand is working its way slowly up Caleb’s thigh, loosening the muscles that Caleb didn’t even know were tense, drawing sighs from him, which turn into a soft whine when the other man’s fingers brush against the juncture of Caleb’s hip and thigh, making his legs spread automatically as though Caduceus needs space for- anything. 

He feels Caduceus pause, feels the tiny hitch in his breath, and worries that that one little movement was enough to push the stop button. He holds still, beginning to tense up again, but then the touch continues, maps the curve of his hip and the edge of his belly, and once more Caleb relaxes. 

“If you keep tensing up you’re going to ruin all my hard work,” Caduceus says gently, his tone warm and teasing.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. I don’t want to push you-” Caleb replies as they swap hands, fingers unwinding and winding together again as though they’ve done this a thousand times before. Caduceus begins the massage on the other leg, starting on Caleb’s knee and working his way up his thigh. 

“I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do, you know that,” Caduceus says quietly as his thumb brushes over the side of Caleb’s hand. It’s that that feels the most intimate to Caleb, not even the closeness of their bodies. Holding hands. It’s wonderful. 

He shivers but doesn’t tense when Caduceus brushes the crease at the top of his thigh again, his legs once more trying to twitch open. He reaches for Caduceus’ now free hand, taking it in his own once more and drawing the other man’s arms around him. 

“Thank you for your help,” Caleb says slowly, the words feeling thick on his tongue. He hasn’t been this relaxed in years, and he wants to spend however long he can in this moment, to commit each second to memory for when he is alone again. 

“I can- continue, if you’d like,” Caduceus says softly, brushing his nose against Caleb’s ear. 

“I don’t think there’s any stress left in my body, Deuces,” Caleb smiles, though he tips his head slightly, offering his neck even if he doesn’t think Caduceus will do anything about it.

He’s surprised, pleasantly and enough to draw a quiet moan from him, when Caduceus presses his mouth to the bared skin. His cock twitches and Caleb is under no impression that Caduceus didn’t notice. 

“Show me how to touch you.” The words are pressed to Caleb’s skin, vibrating through him, and goosebumps rise all over his body. 

“Caduceus-”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to,” Caduceus answers him before the question is even posed. 

Caleb breathes in deeply and turns his head, enough to dislodge Caduceus’ mouth from his neck, though it means that their lips are very close now. Caleb’s half-lidded eyes meet Caduceus’ and here’s a swoop in his chest as though he had just released a cage of birds. 

He moves their joined left hands down, Caduceus’ covering his own so that Caleb’s fingers wrap around his cock first, the other man’s like a shadow. It’s more than enough, it feels amazing, and he strokes slowly up and down his length once. Against his lips Caduceus’ breath stutters, but his grip tightens, his fingertips between Caleb’s, tracing the shape of him in tandem. 

Caleb moves his hand up and down again, slow still, wanting to show Caduceus the method and speed that he likes, his gaze dropping to Caduceus’ mouth. Warmth is creeping through him, the pale skin of his chest turning pink, a flush colouring his cheeks. 

“You’re beautiful,” Caduceus whispers, and Caleb can do nothing but lean in and touch their lips together, only the slightest of contact so that Caduceus can pull back if he wants to. Apparently he doesn’t, because their lips meet again with a little more firmness, and Caleb’s grip on his cock increases, guiding Caduceus’ with it. 

Slowly, Caleb unwinds his fingers, leaving Caduceus’ in place as he moves his hand to the other man’s thigh, gripping it to keep himself grounded. Unsurprisingly, it takes Caduceus a moment to resume the stroking, takes him a few heartbeats to get used to the feeling of Caleb’s cock in his hand, initially feather light and then firmer, drawing another moan from Caleb which buzzes between their lips. 

Caduceus’ touch is exploratory, learning Caleb, his shape and size and which parts make Caleb’s breathing hitch. Their lips continue to touch, it’s the sweetest, chasest kiss that Caleb has ever experienced, with the contrast of Caduceus’ fingers on his cock which are winding him tighter and tighter. 

“You are going to undo me, Caduceus,” Caleb whispers, lifting his hand from the slim thigh it has been gripping and threading his fingers through the soft, pink hair that is brushing his bare shoulder. 

“I do hope so,” Caduceus replies. “But I will keep you safe. I’ll hold you together.”

“I know you will,” Caleb breathes. “I am safe with you.”

Then there is nothing but the sound of their breathing and the gentle sloshing of the water. Caleb’s breaths carry gasps and moans, trembling and squirming against Caduceus who is bestowing the softest, sweetest kisses to his nose and the corners of his mouth. 

This is better than anything he has ever dreamt of. More than he ever allowed himself to want. 

Caduceus’ thumb brushes over the head of his cock and Caleb shudders with the pleasure, feeling himself rushing towards completion. 

“I’mclose-” he gasps, fingers tight in Caduceus’ hair. 

“Show me,” Caduceus replies, the words so unexpectedly dirty, so challenging, so rough that Caleb has no choice but to obey, crying out against the other man’s lips as his pleasure crests, blinding, incredible, and intense. He feels the heat of some of his come against his chest, feels the shiver of the man behind him and the soft moan pressed to his lips. 

He lets go of Caduceus’ hand finally to still the fingers moving over him. Caleb breathes in deeply, his heart racing, enjoying the high and basking in it for now. He is safe. There is no need for him to come down yet. 

He floats where he is, humming as Caduceus’ hands trail lightly over his forearms again until their fingers lace together once more. The soft touch to his scarred skin, the lack of hesitance to offer intimacy despite these flaws fills his heart. He can only imagine what Caduceus would say if he verbalised that thought, what beautiful words of reassurance the other man would lay over him like a blanket. Caleb doesn’t need them, though. Caduceus doesn’t need to put it into words, he expresses it in the way he touches, the way he kisses him so softly, kisses intended to soothe rather than arouse. 

“I am suitably relaxed,” Caleb manages after a minute or so, laughing gently. “You have succeeded.”

“Hm, beginner's luck,” Caduceus smiles, bringing Caleb’s fingers to his lips and kissing the back of them. 

“Did you enjoy it?” Caleb asks, sitting up slightly, turning as much as he can in the bath, wanting to look Caduceus in the eye. “It is okay if you didn’t, you know that? It doesn’t matter to me if we are not physically intimate. I just- I-”

“I did,” Caduceus cuts him off gently. “I enjoyed it. I enjoyed making you feel good. And I would happily do it again. I don’t think I am that way inclined personally, though. And if there are other things you need and you want to find someone else-”

This time Caleb interrupts. “No. I don’t. This was wonderful. Because it was you.”

Caduceus’ ears perk up and his smile is warming. “Well then. I’m happy to help you unwind, but you don’t need an excuse to come to me for anything. Or share my bed. Or my bath.”

“I’m worried that I am not what you want,” Caleb sighs, still unable to shake the presumptions he’s made up to this point. Caduceus likes big guys. 

“Caleb, you are everything I want,” Caduceus says softly, fondly. Caduceus is incapable of lying, at least lying in a believable way. And the honesty in his expression now is almost overwhelming. 

Caleb turns fully, kneeling between the other man’s legs and sliding his arms around his shoulders. “You should take me to bed now,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to Caduceus’ nose. “So that I can brush your hair.”

“And read me a book?” Caduceus asks, tipping his head for their lips to meet. 

“If that would make you happy, of course,” Caleb agrees. 

“I am already happy. I just want you to read to me,” Caduceus beams, his eyes half-lidded and soft, full of warmth and contentment. 

His wet hands slide up and down Caleb’s back, piecing him carefully back together.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Everything is Taliam pairings and nothing else matters! I've also put up a Percy/Vax fic today if anyone wants that. And two Fjorclay bits. It's been a busy few days. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions or any queries or any kinks you want written then I'm on discord ~ Tulli#0322 and Tumblr ~ hey-tulli where I cry in bisexual and reblog all the pairings. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves and be kind to each other.


End file.
